Joy is not a four letter word As a highly self-critical poet, I’m less
concerned when I find that one of my newly written poems needs resuscitation
than if it comes from me without being infused with one profoundly significant
element. That said, it’s interesting to note that I can’t explain where it
comes from. Or why. But it’s so noticeable when it’s missing that I’m alarmed.
That element is joy.
Of course, it’s not just my poetry that joy nourishes.
Relationships, too, can perish without it. I’m sure that’s why I feel like I’m
staggering when I have a fight with someone I love. Often, joy perishes in such
an environment. Indeed, a measure of the affection I share with that person is
the extent to which I’ll go to reclaim our joy.
Most often, if I have wronged someone I love, I mourn when I
find that the joy we’d created is irretrievable. Few things in life are as
binding as joy shared with another human being whether a partner or a child, a
friend or a relative. Few things are as painful to lose.
Reacting to such loss with temerity appears to be the norm.
We retreat, shield our hearts, play our music a little louder. Instead, I’ve
learned to grieve, to let those terrible feelings that come with confrontation
shake me as if a storm were passing through me.
The process is never pleasant. But it’s essential. If I
block the pain, it grows. If I pretend it’s not there, it infuses some other
part of my life. So I allow it to grind its way through me. It can and has
reduced me to a whimpering heap.
Losing love and its joy has that power. However, refusing to
allow the impact of the dire effects to ripple through almost guarantees a kind
of emotional damage that can permanently transform a person by replacing their
openness to joy with wariness.
Knowing that causes me to place an extremely high value on
comedians like Jackie Mason and Mel Brooks. Most often, they translate trauma
or rely on it to stir creative juices. For them, the process becomes a
discipline.
It came as no surprise when I found this about Mel Brooks at
WIKIPEDIA:
…His father died of kidney disease, at 34, when
Brooks was two years old.[5] Brooks has said
of his father's death, that "there's an outrage there. I may be angry at
God, or at the world, for that. And I'm sure a lot of my comedy is based on
anger and hostility. Growing up in Williamsburg, I learned to clothe it in
comedy to spare myself problems—like a punch in the face. "[6]
Jackie Mason, although just as funny as Brooks, is more
combative:
Mason counseled Israeli leaders to
consider the total expulsion of Palestinians from Israel, the West Bank, and Gaza Strip.[8] Mason and Raoul Felder wrote, “We
have paralyzed ourselves by our sickening fear of World Opinion, which is why
we find it impossible to face one simple fact: We will never win this war
unless we immediately threaten to drive every Arab out of Israel if the killing
doesn't stop.”[8] They added:
“We are brain-dead if we accept the idea that
we have to guess which Arab is our next killer. We are not obligated to
victimize ourselves by letting the Arabs play Russian roulette with
Jewish lives…” (WIKIPEDIA)
As an
antidote to his perceptions of injustice, Jackie Mason makes people laugh.
Chances are he finds joy in that as well as those small things in life, such as
moments two people share when far from the rest of the world. That seemed the
case when my partner and I saw and spoke to him at a tiny restaurant in
Manhattan.
Today, I may
return to the road to joy if I’m able to connect with my new classes of
students. It may find its way back into my writing as my heart passes through
an eclipse of sadness. I look forward to that, look forward to reclaiming those
possibilities that joy produces.
That thought
will never be far from me today as I think of my children, my mother, my
family, my friends, and, especially, my partner and all the joy I have never
stopped wanting to continue sharing with them.
B.Koplen
5/29/13
Not a laughing matter: A plea about and in behalf of a young
soldier I admire:
My name is David
Wahl. I am the father of Michael Behenna’s girlfriend Shannon Wahl and
run the DefendMichael.com
website. I have known Michael for several years going back to when
Michael and Shannon first started dating. I attended Michael’s officer
school graduation at Fort Benning, his Ranger school graduation, and his
deployment to Iraq from Fort Campbell. I was in the courtroom for
Michael’s trial for premeditated murder at Fort Campbell, including the moment
when a jury of seven non-combat officers convicted him of unpremeditated
murder. I witnessed the stunned look of betrayal on Michael’s face.
I was in that same courtroom again three weeks later when the trial judge
denied a request for a mistrial on a Brady law violation (the government had
withheld evidence.) And I was in the small room at the back of that
courtroom with Michael and his family for his last thirty minutes of freedom
before he was taken away.
These past four
years that Michael has sat in a small prison cell at Fort Leavenworth have been
a tortuous journey for those closest to him – but as you can imagine, most of
all for his parents Vicki and Scott. They have endured the emotional pain
of seeing their son treated as a criminal at the hands of a broken and blind
military justice system, of five hour drives to ‘celebrate’ birthdays and
holidays in a noisy visitation center, of the heartbreak of one court ruling
after another go against Michael, of bizarre prison rules that change from
visit to visit and which make civilian prisons look like Club Med.
But beyond the
emotional toll that the Behenna’s have carried is the financial burden of
taking on the United States government that has unlimited resources at their
disposal (our tax dollars hard at work.) Starting with the original trial
to the CAAF appeal which we lost by a narrow 3-2 vote the Behenna’s have spent
well over $400,000 in their fight for their son’s freedom. I know that so
many of you have already graciously stepped forward and lightened this
financial burden, but unfortunately a significant shortfall remains. And
if the Supreme Court decides to hear Michael’s case that shortfall will grow by
at least another $100,000.
The Behenna’s are a
proud family and asking for financial support is not something they are
comfortable doing, especially given how many people are in need today,
including so many fellow Oklahoman’s devastated by the recent tornados.
So I humbly ask each of you who believe in Michael’s cause, to consider giving
a few dollars to his legal fund, which can be found on his web site at www.defendmichael.com.
If each one of the thousands of supporters of Michael gave $20 then the
Behenna’s would be able to cover most of the current deficit. Donations
can be made through PayPal on Michael’s web site, or if you prefer you can mail
a check directly to his Michael’s defense fund at:
Michael Behenna Legal Defense Fund
c/o Jack Dawson, co-trustee
100 Park Avenue, Second Floor
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73102-8099
Please know that
your support for Michael, whether in the form of a donation, a card, or a
letter, is appreciated more than words can say. For Michael and his
parents this difficult journey has only been possible because of the outpouring
of support from all of you. It has sustained them in their darkest hours,
of which there have been many. Finally, please keep Michael in your thoughts
and prayers as we await the ultimate decision by the highest court in the land
on whether they will hear Michael’s case.
I remain, now and
forever, a proud supporter of a young man who some day I hope will be my
son-in-law.
Respectfully,
David Wahl
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